50 "What ifs..." with the Grapes of Wrath

After much thought and deliberation I have finally come up with a book that I hate enough to do this project with.  At first I couldn't think of anything.  I'm not much of a book hater. In fact, I love books, all kinds of books, even course textbooks to some extent.  Books are an invaluable resource.  If there were to be some horrible disaster where we were reduced to caveman times and no technology worked, we would be left with non-technological things to figure out how we as a society could get back to where we were and that's where books come in. Ha ha.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand.  The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck.  God, what a boring book.  I understand it has importance in regards to a look into an ordinary family during the Great Depression, but it is so ungodly boring it doesn't make sense.

The 50 "What if..." questions:

1. What if it wasn't so boring?
2. What if the reason I hate the book so much is because I can't relate to it?
3. What if I could relate to the content and the story?
4. What if I can't relate to it is because I have an irrational fear of living in poverty?
5. What if I have an irrational fear of living in poverty because society puts such a large emphasis on monetary value?
6. What if I can't find anything to do with this for the final project?
7. What if I worry too much about everything and life?
8. What if I can relate to this ungodly boring book on a subconscious level?
9. What if I will never know?
10. What if this not knowing will drive me crazy?
11. What if I go to an insane asylum because of some weird psychological problem caused by some sort of cognitive dissonance because of this stupid book?
12. What if I'm already crazy?
13. What if this is all stupid and I'm making a big deal about irrational thoughts?
14. What if the reason I feel so uncreative is because I don't embrace the irrational tendencies of my personality because irrationalism is frowned upon by today's society?
15. What if I'm so caught up with being a product of today's society that it's driving me crazy?
16. What if this is all just stupid and I should stop worrying?
17. What if I can never stop worrying about all of this?
18. What if I can take all of this worry about being driven crazy and turn it into something positive?
19. What if I just had an epiphany about the final project for class?
20. What if I could finally figure my life out because of this book I hate so much?
21. What if this stupid book changes my life?
22. What if my life changes for the worse because of this book?
23. What if it changes for the better?
24. What if I will never know?
25. What if what drives me as a person is knowing things?
26. What if I'm just making shit up by now?
27. What if the key to life is being an awesome bullshitter?
28. What if that question above is just horse shit and it will never lead to anything?
29. What if I could understand this all in a different context?
30. What if I'm making a big deal out of nothing?
31. What if the key to creativity is making a big deal out of nothing?
32. What if I'm doing this assignment completely wrong?
33. What if the point of this assignment is to get yourself into a state of mind for personal reflection; to understand yourself better?
34. What if I'm completely wrong in my assumptions?
35. What if I fail this assignment?
36. What if I stop caring?
37. What if the reason I put so much importance on everything I do because I care too much about everything?
38. What if this doesn't mean anything?
39. What if nothing means anything?
40. What if things not meaning anything ruins my outlook on life?
41. What if this whole ruining my outlook on life situation actually doesn't ruin my outlook on life but improves it?
42. What if I can't incorporate these thoughts into my Altered Book?
43. What if I accidentally destroy my outlook on life?
44. What if this destroys me as a person?
45. What if I can't rebuild myself as a person if I somehow destroy it unintentionally and I'm left as a shell?
46. What if I have to live my life as a shell of my former self?
47. What if all of my fears stem from question number 46?
48. What if life is pointless?
49. What if life really is pointless and I will never know?
50. What if I can use all of these 'what if's' to make myself a better person for myself because questioning this book has given me a higher understanding, all because I hated a book?

Now I just want to take a moment and figure out how the heck all of that happened and where it came from.  This has taken an interesting turn and I feel like it really needs to be investigated and understood.  Maybe this whole exercise is supposed to be a learning experience about yourself. Or maybe I completely did things wrong and screwed up the whole assignment.  But, you know what?  Who really cares?  This is a very different class and is meant to turn your current perspective and flip it around so you can see the world in a new light. So maybe this is exactly what I was supposed to do.  Maybe I'll find out sometime soon what all of this means.